In Defense of Guns: If God Did Not Intend for Us to Have Guns – They Wouldn’t Have Been Invented

Any attempt to ban guns is against the “Will of God” – Besides it’s unconstitutional, too.

There are many reasons for guns, but guns — for lack of a better term — are good! Guns give the powerless, power; the vulnerable, security; the crazies, ak47confidence; the hunters, prey; the obscure, notoriety; the disillusioned, recourse and the offended, revenge; but most of all, guns allow the goodness of God to triumph over the evil of the Devil. For that reason, any dispassionate discussion about guns and their possible regulation or abolition must start with that premise: “Guns are good,” because if they weren’t, then God surely would not have allowed them to be invented. And in the same scriptural reasoning, if guns are misused, it is caused only by the Devil’s evil scheming.

How Do I Know? The Bible Tells Me So . . .

Anyone who diligently studies the Bible (as I have) will learn that God allowed for the invention of guns in order to enlist His legions of believers to use them to smite and smote the evildoers and infidels in this world. Prior to the invention of guns it was difficult and cumbersome to smite and smote evildoers – especially in large groups. So when it comes to killing (specifically those who deserve it), the invention of the gun was advance of, well, Biblical proportions. The gun clearly separates good Wayne LaPierrefrom evil. In fact the head of the National Rifle Association eloquently documented this philosophical difference when he stated, “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” This makes it clear that the only way to stop any evil caused by guns is not to get rid of guns, but to get more guns.

And when it comes to guns, God doesn’t like to choose sides. Still, while it may seem like a coincidence that those who have the biggest and most guns almost always win; it is, in fact, Divine Providence. Accordingly, when the good guys win, they uniformly declare they did so because “God was on their side.” They give thanks and credit to God for their success at killing the godless heathens.

Biblical scholars also support this contention with scripture. They point out that the invention of guns was another way – besides fire, floods, earthquakes, pestilence, and a dollop of brimstone – for His display of the “Wrath of God.” Sure, the Bible tells us that God is loving and merciful, but even God’s patience can be tested and an expression of the wrath of God is, occasionally, important. Not surprisingly, the same Bible that speaks of God’s mercy and love offers abundantly more references to God’s wrath. For example: “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life; but he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him” (John 3:36). “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men” (Rom. 1:18). “Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.”

Moreover, it is right for God to rain wrath on evildoers and non-believers; for if God did not punish wrongdoers and sinners He would, in effect, be condoning evil and sin. If God were to compromise with wickedness He would, in a sense, be condoning it; and we all know God does not want to do that. In the contemporary sense, if we humans claim to be true believers who are against evil and yet are unwilling to use guns to join with God to administer His wrath, then we are nothing more than moral lepers. It is written: “God is angry with the wicked every day” (Psalm 7:11), and we should be, too. Guns play an important role in administering the wrath of God, because they allow the true-believers to partner with God to smote and smite evil; and in exchange receive the promise of glory and salvation (and sometimes 72 virgins) in the presence of God for eternity. Hey, those 72 virgins is reason enough to have and use guns!, but there are many more reasons why, beyond following the “Will of God”, guns should be more glorified than condemned.

For example, guns are a natural tool for population control. Think of how crowded the world would be today, the ecological problems, the strain on food supplies and water; not to mention the acceleration of global warming we would be facing if, over time, guns had not been used to kill millions and millions of people. China, despite being the country that invented gun powder, has tight control over guns and gun ownership; and as a result, they have like over a billion people that they have to feed and take care of. If you think America is crowded now, just think how claustrophobic the country would be if the constitution had banned – rather than promoted – guns for everyone.

So it Shall be Written; So Shall it be Done

And speaking of the constitution. The Second Amendment guarantees every American’s right to own guns. This amendment has generally been interpreted by the Courts to mean that citizens have a “right to bear arms, ”and this is as it should be. Keep in mind, however, that some revisionist historians (who are opposed to guns) claim to have discovered long-lost minutes of the Constitutional Convention that seem to indicate that the original intent of the phrase “right to bare arms” was actually proposed to guarantee the right of Southern redneck males to wear wife-beater T-shirts. Let’s hope that this interpretation does not hold up.

Proudly Made in America

We should also be proud that guns are one of the few things we can buy now that are actually made in America. In fact, more guns of all types are made in America and exported to other countries like Mexico – than any other country in the world. (It should be a source of pride that American manufactured guns are the guns of choice for all but one of the Mexican drug cartels.) America leads in other gun categories as well: In no other nation is the number of guns per capita as high as it is in America; with almost 90 guns for every 100 individuals. That is almost double the per capita rate for the second and third place countries; Serbia and Yemen. Russia is way behind with only 8 guns per 100 of population. The number of guns in American enables us to be the most efficient country in the world when it comes to homicides; almost 80 percent of all homicides in America are caused by guns. Only a few countries in Latin America can come close to matching this efficiency. Do we really want to give all this up, just to keep guns out of the hands of a few crazies? I think not!

Like everything else in America, when we do something, we want to do it better and more efficiently. It’s the same when it comes to homicides by gun. The easy MadeInAmericaavailability of assault weapons and magazine clips that can hold 100 or more armor-piercing bullets assures our supremacy in efficient homicides will be maintained. That is unless some Socialist leading, bleeding-heart (yes, intended pun) tries to outlaw them. The manufacture, ownership and use of guns is another example of “American Exceptionalism” that we should be willing to defend; and defend with guns if need be.

One of the more primordial reasons to resist any effort to control gun ownership is that it enables the American male can continue to be the “great white hunter.” (Have you noticed that there are more minority ice hockey players than there are minority hunters?) Hunting and killing something is the last link the American male has to a society of male dominance and a reliance on the male for protection and subsistence. Hunting lets a “man be a man” and harkens back to a time when a man, his gun and his dog were all that mattered. (It is of note that when Sarah Palin wanted to show she was “as good as the guys,” she released pictures of herself moose hunting.)

In the past, using guns to hunt for food was a necessity (although native American Indians did quite well bringing down buffalo without guns), but today hunting for survival is unnecessary and has instead become more important as a therapeutic and cathartic bonding experience for the male. Emasculated by society and harnessed to a desk most of the time, hunting allows the male to escape back to the ways of nature that God intended. There is no feeling quite like the feeling of killing something, especially if it is defenseless. This is important to the ego and mental health of many males; take away their guns and they would be psychologically naked. Today, hunting and killing prey is not for food, but for a “trophy.” It is a trophy that signifies male dominance and masculinity; and would not be possible without guns. This is just another example that guns are good. (Sure, some of those who oppose guns have suggested that the issuance of paint-ball guns to hunters would allow for the male bonding and the thrill of the kill, without actually killing something, but those are also the type of people who approve gay marriage.)

In so many ways guns are about America – our past, present and hopefully, our future. Had it not been for guns, America would be a very different country than it is today. Guns – and our ability to keep and use them – are a clear manifestation of our very freedom. If we cannot be free to own guns, how can we truly be free? To protect our freedom we need to be free to have any type of gun we want. The bigger the gun and the more bullets it can rapidly fire, the better it is. Anyone who is in favor of abolishing or severely regulating guns is going against the will of God and – even more important – is un-American.

And the Moral of the Story …

Guns are good. If we want to do more good – for God and country – we need more guns. Guns do exactly what they are intended to do – kill things. So long as there is evil in this world – especially if they are armed – guns are needed to smite and smote them. And, assault rifles with a 100 bullet magazine allow us to smote them good. And when guns of the future include the capability of laser beam dismemberment, surely God will love us even more. In the end, the defense of gun ownership is our best defense against the loss of freedom and in helping God shower His wrath on evildoers. God bless guns!





37 responses to “In Defense of Guns: If God Did Not Intend for Us to Have Guns – They Wouldn’t Have Been Invented

  1. A View From the Coast

    With over 270,000,000 guns owned by private citizens in the US (which by the way leads the world with about a 90% rate of the total population), it should come as no surprise that we also lead the “educated” countries of the world with 2.97 gun related homicide deaths per year per 100,000. Not a good statistic on the surface but it needs to be put into perspective. Of all the homicides in the US only 60% are gun related so people are figuring out other ways to kill each other 40% of the time. In comparison in Sierra Leon 87% of their homicides were gun related, 95% in Puerto Rico and 100% in Lichtenstein! Of course Lichtenstein only had one homicide but that was still from a gun and that’s what matters. In addition we only rank 28th overall for gun related deaths of all the countries of the world even though we are #1 for gun ownership. That means there are other countries with a smaller percentage of guns to population ownership that have more guns related deaths per 100,000 than we did! These include Brazil, Colombia, South Africa, Venezuela, Zimbabwe, Panama, Mexico and Belize (maybe MacAfee was right) so are we really doing so badly? In conclusion in consideration of the fact that we have only 5% of the world’s population but 35% – 50% of the world’s guns the US looks good on a comparative basis. Maybe we really don’t need any changes in the gun laws when you consider the facts.

    (Sources: UNODC and small arms survey)

  2. I hope this post is a joke, because if it is real, MacDonald should retire to a farm…a funny farm.

  3. This is a surreal piece. I THINK it is trying to use sarcasm and irony much the way Stephen Colbert does, but it just doesn’t quite cut it. That, or it was written by someone with a 5th grade education and even less sense.

  4. Well played, but you gave yourself away when you used the term “minorities”; that made the tone far too polite. 🙂

  5. Everyone who pickes up a gun and shoot has something evils. To prevent evil man to shoot destroy all waepons. Evil exist, so it is good that there is armed police.

  6. Its nice that your imaginary friend suggests guns are good…

  7. You could also make an unrelated Statement like, If God had’nt intended that we masturbated then he would have given us shorter arms.

  8. I really hope this is a very sick joke! I Didn’t think there were still ppl like this! Let’s define good and bad, and the love of God for the size of their guns… sound pretty goofy to me!!

  9. woodhouselad… You made my day, can’t stopping smiling, imagining us like T-Rex 😀

  10. NY City and Hong Kong have broadly the same size populations + are both bustling metropolises. Guns cannot be held by the general public in HK but can in NYC. HK Gun related Homicides on average for 5 years: 2.5 Deaths. The same average in NYC? 486.
    On the basis of the logic above (and assuming more bad people are shot with guns than good i.e. evil does not prevail) – this clearly indicates the US is 195 times more evil and God obviously wants more people from NYC smote (otherwise why would he put all those guns there?). This can be broadly mapped onto all other states in the US which all have higher gun related homicides than HK. Obviously, from this, it can be inferred the United States is generally a more evil place and therefore its people are too by extension.
    Or instead, maybe it can be concluded that the article above is written by a retard, and giving guns to people like him will simply result in more dead people. I’m also pretty sure at some point Jesus came along and told us to turn the other cheek. Or did he say “Shower my wrath upon your fellow beings and smite one another”. I can’t quite remember…

  11. What’s the difference between you and a terrorist?

  12. I really hope those replies that think this is genuine are joking!!!!

  13. Love the comments. Thanks for taking the time. The best “mock” is when people don’t know it is a “mock.”

  14. Grandpa Tarquin

    Poe’s Law.

  15. God allowed us to invent nuclear warheads too. Are we going against God’s will by not letting everyone have them? This is honestly the dumbest excuse for an article I’ve read in many, many years.

  16. Ching soon yew

    If god did not intend man to be murdered then he would not have created man. Silly huh!

  17. dont take about guns take about about the immirants that use them

  18. If God did not intend for there to be rape, he wouldn’t have created rapists.

  19. I like it. A well-written, humorous article pointing out the absurdity of the pro-gun argument. Keep ’em coming, Bob. Thanks.

  20. Thanks Greg … Is amazing how many missed the point.

  21. The argument is ridiculous. Has a bullet entered the head of MacDonald? He is an idiot.

  22. Clive lutley

    Wonderful! The only problem with the article is that many of a particular section of the community will see this as validation for their gun mania, just as many commenting here think it reflects your true beliefs. Perhaps you should put a big 😉 at the end.

  23. Yeah, and if God didn’t intend men to rape whenever they feel like it He wouldn;t have given them a dick

  24. If God Intended for Us to Have Swords – He Wouldn’t Have Ordered Them Beaten Into Ploughshares – Would He? And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more. — Isaiah 2:3-4

  25. Haha! This is f***ing great! You sir, are a genius! 🙂 “Prior to the invention of guns it was difficult and cumbersome to smite and smote evildoers – especially in large groups.” – where do you come up with that! 🙂 I highly recommend youtubing Djesus – uncrossed 🙂

  26. Someone not in the US

    My way to debunk this – if God intended for us to have guns so made someone invent them, then he also intended for us to have Agent Orange, Napalm, cluster munitions, dirty bombs, Nazism, and the Holocaust, most of which are generally agreed to not be humanity’s best inventions. Either we have an evil God, or we have a God with no control over this world.

    “Anyone who is in favor of abolishing or severely regulating guns is going against the will of God and – even more important – is un-American.”

    I’m fine with going against the will of God, being a devout Pastafarian (or atheist), and I’m not american (this article made me want to be even less). I’m from NZ.

    You say that 80% of all homicides are caused by guns. I couldn’t find a NZ source for a similar number, but according to the rate of gun use in violent offences is about 1.7%. Not a lot.

    So, in conclusion, God screw America, please don’t infect us with this madness of yours.

  27. Michael Levatic

    Which God? Alah? Because definitelly not Christian God which put it into his commandment “Do not kill.” and says also more powerfully“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (The Bible, Book of Matthew 5:44-48)
    Therefore people, I know there are many christian groups that support the guns and fight but that is not the will of God of the Bible as you can see it from the above verses. It is the work of devil. That is the only kind of God I could serve, God that loves. Because willingly serving God you can only if it is out of love, God that kills would be out of fear.

  28. Proudly “MadeinAmerica”, starring a… Kalashnikov!

  29. If God Did Not Intend for Us to Have a willy – There would not be rapes!

  30. This is quite correct. God also allowed us to invent birth control, so why are so many Catholics against it?

    God himself invented poppies, so I guess cocaine is also a good thing. He also invented hemlock, and I think you should eat some right away to demonstrate your faith.

  31. So your premise is that being able to do something means it is right to do it. – That seems odd coming fom someone who studied the bible. Because jesus almost said the exact opposit on countless occasions. Plus the Bible is chock full of examples of people making decisions not based on what they CAN so but on what is the RIGHT THING to do.

    But there is something else gun lovers always hide. In a gun fight it is never ever the moral man who survives it. It is always the ones willing to shoot first without compassion, morality, or shame. No amount of guns will ever make us safer because it is neither the firepower nor the prevalence that yould keep us safer. Only the willingness to shoot first. THAT however only comes with lack of humanity and morality.

  32. You’re a wacko!
    You sound like an ayahtollah.
    There are no such thing as gods.
    You come from a developed country – why are you spouting the superstitious nonsense we expect from Bangladeshis and Congolese?
    What next? Witches?

  33. Marco Meijer

    Everybody in the world should have guns, not only Americans. And hand grenades. And grenade launchers and RPG’s. And Stingers and assault tanks, of course. Only this way our world will be a safer place for everybody !

  34. Marco Meijer

    Oh, almost forgotten: all individuals should have an abundance of guns and other weapons, and al countries too, of course. Every country should have atomic bombs and WMD’s so they can defend themselves.

  35. Bob you are a genius. One minor omission though. Guns actually are the reason we haven’t had any terrorist attacks since 911 despite Cheney believing it was his administration. Its actually because now all the evildoers/crusaders know how many guns each of us have and they are afraid because they now know that god is on our (the good guys) side.

  36. This gentleman quotes the Bible out of context. Any invention should be under control. Guns need to be regulated and controlled in the strickest manner NOT to kill innocent people – children and women who are powerless. Only disciplined and trained and well behaved citizens should use guns NOT against other citizens. This gentleman should retire rather than betraying people by using the Holy Book, Bible. Please and Please!!

  37. Thanks to the smart founding fathers of America. Never let the gov,take your weapons, You are simply defenceless without them.

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